Rhett

Rhett

Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Celebrate

Good Wednesday afternoon!

Whew! If Summer gets any more "laid back," I'm going to have to start going to bed at 8:00 p.m. just to be able to make it through the day!

RANDOMNESS - I have a "tubing" story/confession to share. I tube on occasion, but I'm not a daredevil in the tubing department, and Mikie has specific instructions to NOT try to throw me off the tube. He knows he will have to endure a lot of hospital time if he attempts to drown me at any time during the course of our marriage. (And, yes. We talked about this before we committed to become man and wife. If he hadn't been agreeable, it could have been a deal breaker.)

I also have a very long history of not really enjoying swimming, floating or playing in lake water for any period of time. It creeps me out a little. (Needless to say, I wasn't raised going to the lake like Mikie was. I have had to adapt over the years.)

If I get so hot sweat is running down my back while the boat is in motion, it is a sign I need to slip into the clear lake water and cool off.

Slipping into the lake from the side of the boat is not my strong suit either. Most people just jump, but I'm nervous about logs and submerged trees, and I just know if I jump I will be impaled... and that might cause me pain.

Thus, I sit on the side of the boat and try to gracefully "slide" into the water without making a splash.

It doesn't work.

Because the boat curves "under," when I try to gracefully "slide," my legs follow the shape of the boat... and end up under the boat. As that is happening, my torso falls face first into the water... and I come up gagging... because I was expecting to gracefully "slide" and I'm never prepared for the face plant in the water.

It's embarrassing.

But now I am in the water. It is cool. It is relaxing. Nothing is nibbling my toes. I am actually cooling off even in my perpetual menopausal state. It is a good thing.

Last Sunday, Mikie forgot to bring the boat ladder. Mikie and I are unable to get into the boat without the boat ladder. Mike's problem has to do with a shoulder injury, and my problem has to do with absolutely no upper body strength. None. Nada.

"I can't get in the water and cool off. I won't be able to get back into the boat," I whined as the day became hotter and hotter.

"Don't worry about it. I'll be able to hoist you in... and one of the boys can push on your backside if I need help."

Two things a 50 year-old woman never wants to hear... "hoist" and "push on your backside."

One thing a 21 year-old or 18 year-old son never wants to hear... "push on your mother's backside to help her get into the boat."

It's not natural.

When the time came for me to get back into the boat, Austin scrambled out of the water ahead of me. He decided to help with the "hoisting" part. I didn't blame him.

Josh had long since retreated to the front of the boat immediately after I jumped in face first. He was not going to take a chance.

The Enchanting Belinda didn't raise no dummies.

"What if you pull both my arms out of socket whlie you are hoisting me?" I asked, nervously.

"We're going to do it in one quick, gentle motion. It will be fine," I was reassured.

I gave Mikie my left arm and Austin my right arm. On the count of three, both of them "hoisted" as hard as they could "hoist."

I landed face first on the back of the boat... my stomach, legs and feet still hanging off the boat.

Before I could lift my face from the boat carpet, I heard the dreaded, "One, two, THREE! HOIST!" once again.

Now not only did my face have carpet burn, but so did my thighs... and if I wasn't mistaken, my arms had been pulled out of their sockets.

"Wow. Way to help, Babe," Mike told me.

"You're welcome." I was in a great deal of pain, and I failed to hear the sarcasm in his voice.

"Was she helping?" I heard Austin ask as he tried to catch his breath.

"No. No, she wasn't. She was just dead weight letting us lift her into the boat."

I love it when my family talks about me as if I were dead... while I'm directly in front of them. They are so, so sweet.

"Well, what was I supposed to do?" I asked... still lying face first on the carpet. (I was beginning to think my lips had been rubbed off by the boat carpet, and I was getting a little snippy.)

"Some people actually throw a leg up into the boat."

"Yeah. I wonder how those 20 year-old people do that?" I retorted.

I had started to bleed slightly on my forehead and thighs, and the "carpet burn" was starting to become more and more painful.

I was not in the mood for criticism.

Thankfully, Roxie was ready to tube, so after I crawled back into my co-captain's chair, we were ready to ride.

All in all, I would recommend tubing as a great hobby for all families... but only if you have a boat ladder... and a spare pair of lips!


Somehow Melia and Roxie were able to get in and out of the boat without face planting. It must be an "under 50" thing.


Roxie was quick to show me her lips had stayed intact. Some people are just born lucky.


I can only assume Roxie and Josh are praying I don't get into the water again before it's time to go home. Not only is it time-consuming, but it is just too, too disturbing.

Wednesday Wisdom - We're transitioning into the summer months, and with the transition comes some bumpy spots. I decided to dedicate today's Wisdom to the raising of teenagers!

"Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own. " Doug Larson (I cannot wait!)

"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for toothpaste that offers whiter teeth and fresher breath." Dave Barry

"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla." Jim Bishop

“Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.” Anonymous

Celebrate

Since I'm late with the post today, I'm going to cheat a little. Okay. I'm going to cheat a lot... but I think you'll be glad I did.

Go to www.kellehampton.com and read her post entitled "Celebrate" dated May 29.

If you want to think in terms of celebrating EVERY day, she has some very basic, doable, beautiful ways to make the ordinary into a very special occasion.

I like how that girl thinks!

Have a wonderful Wednesday... what's left of it! I'll be back (tomorrow morning, I think) with Blog Linkage, Josh's Journey (11th Grade) and a fun Summer Date.

Take care, and I'll talk to you in the morning.

Sincerely,

The Enchanting Belinda

4 comments:

  1. I'm EXACTLY the same way about lakes. I definitely do not go in, unless I can see what is in the water... so that leaves me with swimming pools, eh um, it needs to be skimmed first. Yes, get the floaty buggies out, pls. I so much enjoyed your post today. It gave me a chuckle that I needed with the packing I'm doing. Have a lovely week...as your Summer begins.
    Andrea

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  2. Hey, Girl... Yep. I think lake swimming is something you have to do when you're a young child to not have phobias as an adult.

    Obviously, my kids and future grandkids will not have my fear of lake water... or the Atlantic. When we went to Amelia Island a couple of years ago, that's one of the things we noticed as a family. You can't see anything in the Atlantic Ocean. NOTHING! I'll take the Gulf of Mexico over the Atlantic (or a lake) anytime.

    And a clear blue pool is lovely.

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  3. YOU.ARE.KILLING.ME. not finishing the Josh story. I've waited patiently for the end (or the beginning) of this story til I'm about done in. Like trying to finish a movie I have recorded on the DVR and life keeps interrupting me. Pleeeeze. Enough suspense. I want to get to the "The Happy Ending" part.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry. The first part of the story was written in 2009. The last part is being written now, and it's a slow process, but I'll try harder.

      I'm not trying to make it suspenseful... I promise.

      Delete

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