Monday, February 4, 2013

Mindless Monday, First Secret Reveal, Mississippi Roast Beef, Rolo Pretzels, Another Spanx Story (Worse Than the First)

Good Monday AFTERNOON!

It's exactly 2:33 p.m., so let today's official post begin!

RANDOMNESS #1 - What will we do when basketball season is over?

No, really. What will we do?

Tonight, we play our last game of the season and then we host the Area Tournament Thursday, Friday and Saturday.

I know you've been worried, but you will have basketball pics to peruse on A Simple Life for at least another week!

I'll just go ahead and say, "You're Welcome" now!


The girls aren't all work and no play! Taylor and Roxie.


Rachel and Kelci.


Caroline and... Hmmm. It's hard to say.

RANDOMNESS #2 - The Super Bowl Party just didn't happen for us this year. Illness, work schedules and homework threw a big ol' kink in our plans... but not in our food.

Meatball subs TONIGHT!

We'll throw an even bigger party next year... when the Steelers are playing in the Super Bowl again!

RANDOMNESS #3 - I told you I was currently the keeper of two secrets last Friday. Today, I am going to reveal one of them.

I guess I should have told you earlier it isn't an earth shattering secret. It's not particularly a juicy secret either.

It's just a plain, good news, celebratory kind of secret.

Tuesday night (at a game), a girl I did not personally know sat down beside me and started talking out of the side of her mouth.

"Daloney is 18 points away from scoring 1,000 points. Coach wants you to take a picture of her making THAT basket."

"What? What? Who are you? What did you say?"

She slowly repeated the information, and I let it sink in.

Wow. This was going to be a weighty responsibility. And unlike some people who might not be as self-assured as I am in the "amateur photography" department, I responded, "Sure. No problem."

Someone needs to sit beside me at all times and remind me, "I'm not as think as I good I am!"

You would think that would naturally be Mikie's job, but not so much.

He did help me with the countdown and when Tuesday's game was finished, Daloney was only 7 points away from her 1,000 point goal.

She didn't know how close she was.

The rest of the team didn't know how close she was.

And they weren't supposed to know.

My first secret of the night.

During Friday's game, I sat in the opposing team's bleachers toward the bottom. I was at a perfect spot to get the 1,000 point picture.

I took three pictures of each basket leading up to the 1,000 point basket.

They were really, really good. It was as if the opposing team and girls on our team stepped back so I had a clear shot of Chelsea.

And then it happened. THE basket. And everyone closed in on Chelsea. And Chelsea's hair flew in her face. And the basket went "SWISH!"

So exciting.

I ran back to our bench where Chelsea was presented with a special basketball, AND all of her teammates were congratulating her.

And if I must say so, those pictures were very good!

I'll reveal the next secret Friday morning. It falls in the "celebratory" secret category, too. I rarely have earth shattering secrets these days, but I promise to share next time one comes my way!


Chelsea and Coach Barnett.

RANDOMNESS #4 - Another Spanx Story - In November or 2011, I was asked to speak to a group of women at my church.

The initial exchange went something like this...

"Belinda. Would you mind speaking about being in the Autumn Season of Life?"

What I heard...

"Belinda. Would you mind speaking about Autumn traditions you can plan with your family?"

Do you see the difference there? Do you?

I agreed, and as I was walking out to The Big Gold Van, it hit me. Sheila (head of our Women's Ministry) thought I, The Enchanting Belinda, was actually in the Autumn Season of Life... at the young age of 49!

Ridiculous!

How could I speak knowingly about being in the Autumn Season of Life when it was as clear as the nose on your face I was still in the Dog Days of Summer Season of Life?

And then I did the math.

Spring Season... 0 to 20 years
Summer Season... 21 to 40 years
Autumn Season... 41 years to 60 years

Uh-oh. According to THAT math, I was halfway through with the Autumn Season.

I decided to recalculate.

Spring Season... 0 to 25 years
Summer Season... 26 to 50 years
Autumn Season... 51 to 75 years

Uh-oh, again. According to the new math, I was only nine months from being officially in the Autumn Season of Life.

So, I did what any self-respecting, good-looking, Hot Mama would do.

I decided to OWN IT!

And I wrote a little talk about being in the Autumn Season of Life.

But that's really not the story.

The story is that although I said I OWNED IT, it was still a shock to my system to realize I was entering a new season. And it didn't help that everyone else knew I was an Autumn... except for me.

I decided I wanted to look as good as I possibly could while giving my story. Very Young Autumn, if you will.

I bought a new outfit (all autumnal colors).

I bought new boots. Of course, they were the wrong boots for that particular outfit. (You may remember the boot story. If not, I'll share it with you again Friday.)

I was coiffed and accessorized to the max.

But I wanted a little more.

So I went to a nearby specialty store and picked up my first ever pair of Spanx. Wow. Spanx are kind of pricey.

I thought long and hard about getting an off-brand, but this was a momentous occasion. I was officially and bravely walking into the Autumn Season of Life in front of about 500 women, and I wanted to look "firm, shapely and fine." (That's what I pretended to read on the back of the Spanx package.)

I bought the Spanx.

The night of the event, I was putting on all of my finery and I picked up the unopened Spanx. I took a deep breath, and began the "Spanx-putting-on" process.

Oh... my... word!

Halfway to my knees, I checked the size of the Spanx I had purchased.

A little past the knees, heading toward the thighs, I stopped having any feeling in my feet.

Twenty-three minutes later, after I finally finished putting the Spanx where they belonged, I looked into the mirror and noticed I needed another shower.

The next question... "To shower with OR without the Spanx."

Time was of the essence, so I skipped the shower, but I did have to reapply the makeup which had melted away during the "Spanx-putting-on" process.

Well, except for blush. I discovered I didn't need blush while wearing Spanx.

My feet were numb.

My face was red as a beet.

I had severe flop sweat.

And every time I inhaled, the Spanx tightened... but they didn't loosen when I exhaled. (That's definitely a flaw in their design, don't you think?)

But, not to worry. It was time to dazzle the multitudes!

I know I was still getting blood to the brain, because I had the common sense to pack a pair of scissors... just in case I needed "Spanx-emergency removal."

However, I think the blood to my brain was affected later in the evening, because since that time, women have come up to me and said I actually talked about wearing Spanx... in church... during the Autumn Season of my Life.

I have no recollection.

But I do know... Removing the Spanx later that evening made it in my Top Ten List of Best Moments in my Entire Life EVER!

I don't suppose I'll ever be asked to be the National Spanx Spokeswoman... but I think that is okay. Living in the Autumn Season of Life Spanx-less is way better than the two-hour period I wore them November of 2011.

I think I want that put on my tombstone one day!

Mississippi Roast Beef

I have to admit, I have made some VERY simple recipes in my time, but this one was by far one of the easiest, most delicious meals to ever come out of my crock pot!

You will need the following:

1 chuck roast
1 package Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing
1 package McCormick Au Jus Mix
1 stick of butter
5 pepperoncini peppers

1. Place chuck roast in crock pot.

2. Sprinkle Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing on top of roast.

3. Sprinkle Au Jus Mix on top of Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing.

4. Place one stick of butter on top of roast.

5. Place 5 pepperoncini peppers on top of roast.

6. Cook on low 8 hours. DO NOT ADD WATER.

It takes LESS than 5 minutes to prepare, and The Faulkner Five liked it as well as (OR BETTER THAN) the Alabama Roast Beef I've been preparing for the past 25 years.

Excellent, excellent Pinterest recipe!

Rolo Pretzels

You will need the following:

Pretzels
Bag of Rolo candy
Pecan halves

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Place pretzels on parchment paper.

3. Place a Rolo on top of each pretzel.

4. Bake for 3 to 4 minutes.

5. Remove from oven. Place a pecan half on each soft Rolo.

6. Allow to cool.

7. Try not to eat all of them in one sitting!


Yum!

Have a delightful Monday. I'll be back Friday morning with the Second Secret Reveal, pictures, Weekend Happenings and some Valentine's Day goodness.

Take care, and I'll talk to you at the end of the week.

Sincerely,

The Enchanting Belinda

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